How to meet people online: a beginner’s guide
When it comes to meeting people online, there are a few things you can do to set yourself up for success right from the start.
1. Pick the right platform
Just as you wouldn’t order sushi at a steakhouse, you need to choose the platform that works for what you want to do. First, figure out what exactly it is you’re looking for. Do you want to make friends? A social media site like Facebook or BlueSky is a good option. Looking to make professional connections and grow your career? See if there’s industry-specific groups on Facebook, or create an account on LinkedIn. If you’re looking to bond over shared interests, a hobby-specific forum or Reddit community might be worth looking into.
When it comes to online dating, you have even more choices to make – are you looking for something casual, or to settle down? Neither option is better than the other – it all depends on you and what you’d like. However, it’s important to be clear about what you want, since some sites are all about casual hookups while others, like our picks here, are geared towards people looking for something more serious and long-term. Choosing the online dating website that best matches your needs will make meeting people online who’re looking for the same things you are a lot easier.
2. Create an engaging profile
Your profile is one of the most important tools in your arsenal when it comes to how to meet people online. A detailed, well-crafted profile lets people get to know you – and hopefully be intrigued enough to want to date you. Some tips for putting your best digital foot forward:
- Pictures really are worth a thousand words. Let’s be honest; visuals matter, especially when it comes to making a good first impression. Choose five or seven that paint a well-rounded picture of you – selfies as well as shots that tell people more about who you are as a person.
- Be detailed. While it’s important to consider safety when if you want to meet people online, that doesn’t mean your profile should be bare-bones and generic. Talk about things you love, what you like to do, and what you’re looking for in a partner.
- Strike a positive note. Nobody likes a complainer, and excessive negativity on your profile is a sure way to have people deciding you’re not worth the trouble. Rather than talking about all the things you don’t want, talk about all the things you do.
- Honesty is the best policy. If there are things that are dealbreakers for you (smoking, perhaps, or not having children) it’s best that you state it up front. You should also be clear about what kind of relationship you want, the better to avoid being disappointed later.
3. Initiate meaningful conversations
It can be really hard to think of interesting things to say (hence all the people who drop into your IMs with a generic ‘hey’) but putting in the time and effort to do so can really help with how to meet people online. Some tips for how to get the conversational ball rolling:
- Ask about something in their photos or profile. If they mention loving a certain band, you might ask what their favorite song is, or ask what their favorite thing about the trip they took to the place in one of their photos.
- Ask open-ended questions! This lets them be as long-winded as they like and opens the door to follow-up questions and further conversations.
- Ask a fun “would you rather?” question. These are light-hearted while also offering a surprising amount of insight into the other person’s character. Plus, they’re a great way to see if you’re compatible!
- Be clear about what you’re looking for, whether that’s friendship or something more. You can also ask what the other person is looking for, and what they’re interested in – the sooner you can confirm you’re on the same page, especially when it comes to what you’re looking for in a partner, the better.
4. Join communities
Wondering how you can meet new people online? Lean into the things you love to do in your everyday life. The great thing about the internet is that regardless of how niche or obscure you think your interests are, there’s probably someone else who also loves whatever it is… and the internet has made them much easier to find. One option is old-school hobby forums, where you can meet like-minded fans, or communities like Reddit, or even something like Discord. You can also find communities for just about anything on Facebook or Meetup. Don’t just stop at joining, though – be sure to be active! You never know what you might find.
5. Watch out for red flags
While nobody is perfect, there are a few red flags that should have you immediately hitting the back button.
- Their profiles are bare-bones and their pictures are too good to be true>
- They can’t keep their stories straight between conversations or are vague and elusive when you press for details>
- They’re constantly complaining or being negative about everything.>
- They go beyond having preferences to insisting their dating partner meet very specific criteria>
- They refuse to video chat or meet in person>
- They’re pushy and disrespectful of boundaries, especially when it comes to sex or money>
6. Safety first, online and off
While the internet isn’t as scary as our parents would have had us believe growing up, it’s still a good idea to take care when you meet someone online, both when you chat with them and if you decide to meet in person. Some tips:
- Be careful how much information you share with them. If they’re trustworthy, they won’t push
- Always let someone know you’re seeing someone online and if you’re planning on meeting up
- Insist on your own transportation to your first few dates, which should all be in public. You could even arrange for a friend to call in the middle if you need to arrange an escape.